Hell

The sound of a voice emanating from upfront woke him.

The darkness of slumber was fading, the fog of the unconscious dissipating. To him, the sensation was akin to that of emerging from a long, deep sleep. The voice, clearer now than before.

“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just come right out with it.” The voice again, pausing as if to prepare itself for this next part, “You’re all dead.”

He came to, this declaration of his demise jolting him awake. With newly restored vision, he looked around. The source of the voice was identified. A creature, with deep red horns upon its head, was about as tall as eight or nine of those horns stood end on end. In its hoofed hands, a collection of notes emanating a subtle black smoke, the corners slowly being eaten by an unseen flame.

If you can call the collective stunned silence of nearly a hundred men, women and assorted, unspecified creatures sitting in a dark conference room anxiety-inducing, then that was the reaction to the creature’s revelation.

“Yeah,” It spoke again, after allowing for a suitable amount of time to pass and the news to sink in “and you’re in Hell.”

The man took tentative glances to his left and his right, surveying the group of people and things? he was surrounded by. To his left, a balding head sat in the row in front of his. Judging from the gaudy attire of a beige shirt with grey suspenders, he made an educated guess the bald man was a landlord. Of course, he thought to himself, you’d expect a landlord to be here. Hell, that is.

“Hell,” the creature up front continued “is probably a bit different than you may’ve expected. Management thought the Hell of Old was a bit too barbaric. Gone are the days of flogging and flaying our clients for eternity. Sad really, a lot of fun was had back in the day.

“But not to worry!” the creature said with a bright tone, “The new, politically correct, Hell you find yourselves in has been well and truly brought into the Twenty-First Century!”

The man looks away from the landlord, shifting his gaze to the right. He rests his eyes on another of his conference-room compadres. Under different circumstances, not stuck in a room with the thing up front informing him he’s in for some good, old-fashioned eternal damnation, he’d have found the sight of the person to his right a bit more surprising.

He didn’t need to guess at the profession of this man. The well-known, South African CEO had made his billions selling a vision of the future, rammed full of electric cars and space travel. Simultaneously, however, he’d exploit those who found themselves working in one of his many businesses. For the CEO, it was no surprise he’d find himself in Hell sooner or later.

The creature took a couple steps right, enough to make way for a projection to paint itself onto the blank wall behind. It looked to be a PowerPoint presentation. This, the man thought, definitely made sense being in Hell. He’d sat through enough presentations to know all about the misery they induced in an audience.

At the same time, the creature said: “Whilst we can’t physically harm anyone down here, thanks to the wokies and their political correctness. But there’s nothing against psychological pain. Probably not something you all wanted to hear, but alas. Take solace in the fact that nothing you experience here will actually be real.”

Pausing for dramatic effect, it added, “But it most definitely won’t feel that way!”

The PowerPoint behind the creature displayed a simple diagram: A hat, with a plethora of different coloured wires protruding from it in all directions, sat atop a blank-faced, slack-jawed model.

“This, ladies, gentlemen, goblins, ghouls, and other creatures of the night, is what we call the Digital Nightmare, or DN for short. Catchy name, right?

“I’ll dispense with the technical stuff because frankly, I have no idea how it works. Above my pay grade. All you need to know is that once you pop the hat on, it’ll transport your mind to a landscape that puts you right in the middle of anything and everything you find terrifying. Think The Matrix mixed with The Conjuring. Real scary stuff.”

Nobody in the audience moved. Out the corners of his eyes, the man could see those around him just stared forward, directly at the presentation, himself included.

“Between you and me,” the creature continued, “I actually think this new version of Hell is better! Do you have any idea how much it costs in monster power alone to physically torture everyone down here, for all eternity? The DN here has cut overheads by 93.4%, whilst also being able to deliver a tailored experience to everyone. And it feels real too, which is the important bit.”

The screen behind the creature morphed, those gaudy PowerPoint animations still clearly a staple of presentations in Hell, just as they are in the overworld. The Digital Nightmare diagram vanished, replaced with simple symbols.

As each symbol appeared, the creature gave some context “Maybe you’re scared of burning alive? Thanks to the DN, you can burn for all time! In the old days, we would have had to rotate torturers, giving you a few precious minutes of relief. And that’s not to mention the resources cost. Coal doesn’t grow on trees, you know. But that’s all a thing of the past! The DN lets you burn 24/7, at temperatures hotter than we could have ever dreamed of! Hotter even, I hasten to add, than the River of Boiling Skulls!”

“Incidentally,” the creature said, “if you ever get a chance to visit the River of Boiling Skulls, please do so. It’s quite a sight. Just follow the path of surgical offcuts, turn left at Shattered Shin Park, and it’s right in front of you. Anyway, I digress…”

The creature shuffled his smoking notes again, getting back on track with his presentation. “Perhaps it’s spiders?” it said, “And who could blame you, horrible little things that they are. But if that is what you’re scared of, prepare yourself to spend the rest of eternity locked away in a spider-infested cell! Terrified by something weird, like mustard? Well, you don’t even want to know what we have for that one. You get the idea.”

As the man listened to the creature, he tried to think about what might be in store for himself. What was he most afraid of? Heights? Sure, he didn’t particularly enjoy being up in the air, but wouldn’t say he was terrified. Spiders? They’re gross, yeah, but not horrific. He just didn’t know what was to come.

“Right,” the creature up front said “that’s enough of me. It’s time for you guys to say something. One by one, you’ll all walk up here, in front of everyone, and introduce yourselves. Tell us what you did to get yourself down here, and what you think your absolute worst fear is. Don’t worry if you don’t know, many of our clients aren’t sure. The DN knows though, and that’s all that matters.”

The creature points to the first person in the front row. A woman with a black bob haircut, a patterned blouse, and arms and fingers full of tawdry bangles, rings, and bracelets. She stands, and gently rattles her way to the front. “Hi. I’m Deborah.” She says to the crowd before her.

“Hi, Deborah.” The crowd all respond in unison. Why did I do that? Thought the man after he heard his own voice join in with the crowd.

Deborah continues in a monotone voice, “I claimed to be a medium. I’d say I could speak to the dead, and grieving relatives would pay me handsome sums to pass on messages from their lost loved ones. I just made stuff up, and made a lot of money doing it.”

“Very true Deborah,” the creature says “Nobody can speak to the dead, at least not whilst they’re alive. You’ve just spoken to a whole lot of them, as it goes. You, and everyone like you, deceived those who came for help. You took their money and lied to their faces. What do you think awaits you for the rest of eternity?”

Deborah’s face scrunched up, trying her best to work out what she was most afraid of. A few moments of this, then as suddenly as it came, it was gone. The confused face replaced with one of pure fear and realisation, “Clowns.”

“Bingo!” the creature exclaimed, “Not very original, but definitely scary. I won’t spoil the surprise of what we have in store, but I urge you to try ideas on for size whilst you listen to everyone else.” He waved his hand, and Deborah made her way back to her seat, the look of horror never leaving her face.

“Who’s next?” The creature said with a smile on its face.

As everyone went up to the front one by one, the man continued to think about what his worst fear would be, all the while slowly becoming damp with sweat. After all, it’s hot in Hell, right?

Hearing his heartbeat pounding in his ears, he tried to focus on what was being said up front, but just couldn’t do it. The anticipation and anxiety of not being able to think of anything before he was called up was eating him from the inside out.

To his right, the CEO was called. Watching him make the slow walk to the front of the room felt like it took an eternity, the man not being able to think about anything else other than that it was his turn to go next. Dripping with sweat now, his vision blurred and sounds distorted.

The CEO said his name, what he used to do, and what he thought his worst fear was.

“Not quite,” the creature said in response, “but that will make it that much more exciting when you finally find out.” It pointed, and the CEO began the slow walk back to his seat.

“Next!” the creature screamed.

In unison, bodies began to shift in their chairs. Nearly one hundred pairs of eyes were staring directly at the man. With his heartbeat now pounding unbearably in his ears, he began to move.

Every step was agonisingly slow. As much as he tried to stop, to turn around and run from this nightmare, his feet wouldn’t allow it.

The world began to spin, he couldn’t see it but could sense the sweat leaving a visible trail behind him, as his feet walked to the front of the room of their own volition. The blank faces and vacant stares burned a hole in the back of his head.

Upfront and lightheaded, the man tried to speak. “I’m Ma-, Mathew.”

More words came from his mouth, but Mathew didn’t hear what he said. The creature asked for Mathew’s fear, but his brain was too rattled to comprehend the words. The previously placid faces of the audience morphed into that of disapproval.

Through his blurring vision, Mathew could see a few members of the audience learning to the person, or monster, next to them, whispering an insult and laughing as they did so. Mathew’s silence made it worse. The sweat was drenching his body now. He didn’t need to look down to know that his shirt was soaked through, most likely leaving a puddle at his feet.

“What’s your fear?” The creature asked. Looming large over him, its dinner-plate eyes stared directly into his soul. The unknowing, the pressure, the heat, the whispers. It all became too much for Mathew to bear. He stammered, unable to produce anything meaningful from the lifeless rubber that was his mouth.

With more work than anything he’d ever done before, he managed to push out two words through his numb lips: “Public speaking.”

“Yes!” Yelled the creature.

With the deafening sound of his blood rushing through every vessel in his body, the room began to spin before his eyes. He was starting to lose vision entirely. Controlling his trembling body was no longer an option.

His legs buckled.

Crashing onto his side, Mathew could see the disapproving audience staring at him. That was until his vision was engulfed by the creature. From the floor, Mathew could see it slowly stroll over to him, crouch down, a make direct eye contact.

In a whisper, it said: “With public speaking, the lead-up is the worst part, isn’t it? Now would be a good time to tell you that the Digital Nightmare has already taken control. See you soon.”

Mathew blacked out. But not before taking one final glance at the audience staring directly at him as he lay helpless on the floor.

Darkness. Nothing.

Then, quietly, a voice. Indistinguishable at first, but then clearer…

“There’s no easy way to say this…”